I Still Don't Know Why....BUT....

So, I still don't know why I'm here in New Hampshire, but I am, and I know that this is where I am to be: for now at least. I work for Monadnock Bible Conference 2-3 days a week, doing some house cleaning....and I may be looking into a waitressing job in town, but we'll see. "So how do you know that you're supposed to be there, Shauna? And not somewhere else?" Honestly, I just know, because every other option doesn't even seem possible. But being here is. I've been given a place to live, food to eat, challenges, and hey: Guess what??!! I'M DRIVING!! That's right, here in New Hampshire there are not driving permits...just license's!! So I'm going for my license here!! I'm soooooooooo excited!!

sorry so short, but I'm going to go eat stuffed-crust pizza for the first time: EVER!!

WHERE AM I, LORD?

Okay ya'll: That's the point that I'm at right now: WHERE AM I, LORD? I feel sometimes that there is just ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that I can do: and at other times, I feel as though my life is my fault because of some laziness that I have: though I really haven't been. I may have the opportunity to be a nanny, I'm going to clean for Monadnock here, a couple days a week for the next week, plus, I'm calling Rite-Aid tomorrow, and calling a couple of contacts for a centre with children w/ disabilities. (I can't believe I just noticed that I spelt "centre" the Canadian way:0) So, ya'll can pray for me with this. Perhaps the Lord doesn't even want me to work this summer: maybe that's why I am having a hard time: it's all in the Lord's hands, and I am slowly getting that point.

Apparently, my Continentals stuff is in: So tomorrow I'll most likely be receiving my music to learn!! Ever pumped me! And oh....

I sang at the ARISE event, with my friend Andy, and his band. We performed a couple of his songs from his cd....it was such an interesting night. I had a hard time getting focused (I think b/c it had been so long since I've sang there), but finally, by the song "PRAISE ADONAI", my heart just sang for God, and it was amazing!! I love God soooooooo much!! We performed "It Is Well With My Soul", the Shane & Shane way, (really slow and beautiful), and it was so amazing to praise God during that song that all I wanted to do was drop on my knees and sing it and clap and shout for God!! HE IS LORD!

love ya'll.

Jobs.

hey there ya'll: this job hunting is hard. I now understand how hard it is for people to find decent jobs with decent pay: this is ridiculous. I applied to 5 places in Dover, NH: Rite-Aid, Brooks, Staples; Bed, Bath and Beyond and Hannaford's. The whole prospect of working in these places terrifies that begeebee's right out of: I can't even express it in words. I actually wish that I wasn't a lazy teenager and did work part-time during high school: I'm so scared, so scared.

so, right now, I'm babysitting Josiah: my friend's kid. (the same one as before.) Anyways, he's beautiful: and I'm going to cry when I have to say goodbye: if I have to. Perhaps I'll find a job here in Jaffrey or something. Who knows?! The Lord does!

So I have found my verses for the summer: Psalm 24:3-6. They're amazing. And I've decided to read no other book but the Bible from now 'til I return from the Continentals. The Word of God is what I should run to: not others, and not other books. I need a desire for His Word: I hunger for that. And it's awesome, 'cause the Lord has been teaching my mom that same lesson too, so it's cool.

well, I should get going. have a great day!:0)

Back in the U.S.A.!!

Hey ya'll: sorry it's been so long since I've updated: quite a bit has happened. I am a recent graduate of New Brunswck Bible Institute, located in Canada. I now have my diploma of of Theological and Biblical Studies, along with a diploma of Advanced Biblical Ministries. It was such an emotional 4-5 days at the school: seeing some of my closest friends in the world for the last time, plus having to say goodbye to some from where I interned in PEI, Canada, plus, being totally physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted, PLUS, the realization that it is time for me to grow up. Needless to say, I'm exhausted.

I'm now in Jaffrey, New Hampshire, visiting and vacationing. My friends Bethany and Andy have a gorgeous 15 month old, Josiah, who brightens my countenance every time my eyes fall on him. I pray for my (perhaps) future children that they will light up the room as he does. Anyways, so after a couple weeks here, I will most likely return to Maine to get a job for the summer, so I can join the Continentals in the fall. (which reminds me, I need to mail a check!)

well, it's 10:40 pm, and I'm totally exhausted. Please, stay in contact ya'll.

UNBELIEVABLE

Unbelievable eh? Everyone? One week today and I'm outtie' from this gorgeous island. That's right: Your island is now gorgeous because there's no snow really anywhere, and the weather is starting to warm up. (Like, whatever, 8 degrees Celesius is, lol.) Anyways...

I had 4 fillings done yesterday: I know, I know, ya'll probably think that I don't take care of my teeth: but I do. I HAVE to floss and brush every night, or I just can't sleep. It's because my wisdom teeth are all in, and they've pushed all my teeth closer together, making it impossible, no matter how much I brush or floss, to actually get where I'm supposed to get. Leanne, my dentist, has probably gone thru quite a few containers of floss just to do my teeth: and she's a dentist for pete's sake. Her office is soooooooo nice because there's a tv that you can watch (and with headphones, you can listen to), so yesterday, I watched 3 1/2 episodes of "The Cosby Show"--and I didn't even really care that my mouth was being held open by metal and by a "rubber dam" that barely let air into my body. lol, oh the memories I have from PEI. Actually, even on my last day here, Monday the 25th, I have an appointment...

The Lord is so awesome, eh? Like even though I'm dumb and have been struggling in my devotional life, He's still blessing me and teaching me. I've really been praying for the Lord to provide all of my support BEFORE summer, and I almost felt guilty praying for that, but the other day, I was either reading something or listening to a sermon, and it was a challenge to believe that God truly can do the miraculous: even when our faith is weak! OH! It was sunday school...anyways, yeah. We were talking about how we can trust the Lord with our souls, but we so often DON'T trust Him with the little things in our lives. Incredible: Thank You, Jesus: You're Awesome.

hello there ya'll. How ya' treatin' life? Well...anyways...so I finished my last course!! Praise the Lord!! So, now I've already read one novel, and am almost half way thru the other, and it's only been about 5 days!! I LOVE READING!! We have only 2 more episodes to watch of the 2nd season of "24", which thrills me: I had a hard time breathing last night. And on American Idol last night, did anyone else think that Carrie Underwood kicked some serious butt on "love is a battlefield"? What was Simon's problem? Sure, she has to do something besides use her hips...but that'll come. anyways, what else. Oh, our first WORSHIP EVENT was this past Sunday, the 10th: absolutely amazing. I love worshipping thru singing: I love how the Lord allows us to worship thru our bodies. What a privilege it is!!
well, I'm done with that randomness now. I'm now down to 10 days 'til I'm done work, and and maybe only 11 'til I go home. My friend Cass maybe coming earlier: which would be amazing!! I'm so sad to say goodbye to some of these people...especially some of the women: it'll be real hard...
oh hey: my tour goes to FIGI now, too!!

Total Randomness

Well, hello there everyone. Miss Total Randomness is here: let's see what she'll say today:




well, I have only 21 days left until I leave: 19 days until I'm done work. Can you believe it? Can I believe it? Absolutely not!! I've only one assignment left to complete: an outline chart on the end times. That's it!! And I could be, perhaps, forever done with school work...though I doubt it... (maybe I'll even get tuesdays and thursdays "off" now...:0)

I've thought of going back to university to work with children with learning disabilities and mental disabilities. Yup, I'd almost be willing to go to university for that: but we'll see.

I still have not sent in my confirmation fee for the continentals. Sometimes I fear that it is not the Lord's will, but part of that is because I still haven't just dropped to my knees to just talk with Him about this. Gosh, I need to do that: for numerous reasons.

what else: NBBI has a new website: blew me out of the water!!

the show 24 is amazing: I encourage all to watch it. Well, it's especially awesome 'cause I'm from the states, so it's sort of personal with me I guess. Kiefer's awesome: Tony's the man too. Just ask any of my fellow C&C'rs about my viewpoints on the show. I love LOST too. But now it's starting to get a bit ridiculous...I may not watch it for too much longer.

Well, I really don't know what to write anymore.




----From the fingers of Miss Total Randomness----------

Miscellanious

Hey ya'll: 27 more days...then I am done my "work" here. I don't actually leave for 29 more days, but hey. I'm pretty pumped...very pumped...but meanwhile, I have an Advanced Eschatology course that should have been completed already: but it's not. In fact, I haven't even finished reading the book yet. But it's deep: and I am actually trying to learn it....oh dear: "Senioritis" has once again, kicked in.

So last night my friend Mike pulled me aside to tell me that him and his wife were going to help support me by giving me some money so I can send in my confirmation fee. They're not paying all of it, but they will support me. And you know what? Instead of getting really excited (which I am...), I actually got really scared. It was a moment in which the Lord was like, "Ok Shauna: this isn't fun and games anymore: people are going to support you, so you need to be serious about doing this..." And I think I really am.

So the other night I strained my back: I hate--I loathe--back pain. I've pulled my lower back 3 times, the last time being down in NY this past summer--and totally slaughtered it. And this is the 2nd time that I've strained it here in PEI. This is ridiculous. I need to get in shape. The better the abs: the better the back. And you know what? People that have never pulled their back have no comprehension of how stinkin' annoyin' it is. Most of the time, you just want to cry 'cause it's so extremely frustrating.

One last thing: my friend Adam got baptized last night!! I was so excited for him!! Please, after you read this, just offer up a quick prayer for him to grow closer with the Lord!! And there was a man that went to watch him be baptized, and he's not saved, and he has a hard life. So please, pray for him too--for his salvation!!

I'M IN!!

Hey Hey hey!! I got accepted to the Continentals!! I'm pretty pumped!! really, really, really, really, really nervous and freaked out of my mind: but really excited to do this opportunity of a lifetime. Please, if you ever think of me, send a prayer to the Throne Room, k? thanks!!

Seeing As How...

See as how I didn't write about my weekend at Halifax by now, I figure that I should. IT WAS A GREAT WEEKEND!! The teens did pretty well with the inner city kids on Saturday....but the inner city kids did pretty well too: apparently they knew I was an adult so they were a little different with me: but whatever. I love the challenge.

I spent most of my time with a little girl, Nakisha: and it broke my heart when my friend Julie told me that when she brough Nakisha home, she spelt pot. It's soooo hard to just let the those kids go back to that atmosphere. So if you ever think of her, please pray for her.

It's hard to believe that I have a little over 5 weeks before I leave. The time has flown by (although there were some weeks where I thought that time had purposely slowed down to get me). I should be hearing from the Continentals in the next day or so, telling me whether I've been accepted or not...so it's a little hard to just sit around. And I'm excited to go on "vacation" for two weeks.

I guess that I'm just sort of rambling now...so I'll end here.

It's Been A While....I Know...

It's been a while, I know. Life's been busy and challenging. Between being sick off and on now for about a month, and just being plain busy and tired, I really haven't had the motivation to update this. Okay, so for the update:

Well, I'm applying for "the Continentals" (www.continentalsingers.org) which is a Christian singing and dancing traveling "thing". If accepted, I would do the fall tour, (sept-dec) and go to New Zealand and travel the southern states...I'd be pretty pumped about doing it. Scared crapless...but pretty pumped. Actually, my friend Heather and I (she'll be an asst. director for one of the trips) may travel out to Los Angeles and back together...so that would make me happy. Anyways, all that's left for me to do is to get some pics done and send them through email...anyways...

and this weekend, I'll be going to Halifax, Nova Scotia (I've never been there), to help lead some of the teens here do some ministry; to a youth group and for some inner city kids: pretty pumped!!

hey!! And my friend Andy (my best friend Bethany--her husband) just cut his first cd!! it's: ARISE:Live Worship (that's what he does--he leads worship conferences). Anyways, if you want to check it out, go to: www.ariseworship.com It's pretty sweet!!

well, that's about it for now. I think I have about 53 sleeps 'til I go back to NBBI to graduate. Pretty pumped...

"peace, out"

I'm Back.

I'm back!! And it was such an absolutely, amazing, weekend. I was one of three leaders who took a group of teen to New Brunswick Bible Insitute (my school) for Conquest '05!! IT was awesome!! Actually, I believe that I got more out of the messages and teachings than the teens, but that's okay. It was awesome. I got to see my best friend Heather, which was really good...and I got introduced to some new people, which ended up somewhat changing my life: 1.) I learned that my priorities had become mixed up 2.)Don't judge people unless you know them and 3.) I have become "unreal" in my time here....I have allowed the "spiritual norm" here and amongst the people here to judge my spiritual state and say that it was okay: when it wasn't. Anyways...I think that my 4th year graduation will be the one in which I actually cry: and I'm not usually that girly.

I Fell Asleep

Hi everyone. I know that it's been a while since I've updated: oh well!!!! I've been a bit busy getting my teens ready (and trying not to kill them) about this upcoming weekend for a retreat at my old school: NBBI. I'm so pumped!! And then, last night, I was with a few women (my favorite women in the world) planning an upcoming women's retreat in April, and we ended up watching American Idol and some other show, and then we shared stories and well, I didn't get to bed until after 12:00 a.m!! (and those of you that know me, know that that doesn't make me happy!)

so, to get to the point of the subject: I fell asleep for a couple of minutes at work today. I was reading "the Revelation of Jesus Christ" (book on Revelation), and I just had to put my head down. It was ridiculous!!!!!

Anyways, so, the theme of this story is: DON'T READ. just kidding. Just don't be like me: A person that needs 10 hours of sleep in order to function in ministry. hmph.

Why Can't I See It, Too.

Sometimes, I just don't get it. I tend to have this problem: I'm just not happy with the way that I am. I am 22 years old and have had one year of "University", 3 years of Bible School and 1 year of ministry, yet I feel as if I am one of the most immature 22 year olds on the planet.

Adults tell me that I'm not: My friends tell me that I'm not: But I think that I am. Maybe my mom is right, and that I shouldn't get married for a really long time. You see, I'm mature in the "spiritual aspect" of life--but in the every day "paying the bills" sort-of-way, I'm not. (I don't even have my license yet!)

I've been told that my problem is, "I'm to hard on myself". Like, whatever that is. Usually the people that I think are hard on themselves are people that are mature. Whatever. And my other problem is, "I over analyze everything". And that, I know, is quite true. I analyze every conversation to death. It's ridiculous. And when it comes to the male species, it's even worse. But enough of them.

So that's it. Why can't I see what others see? Why would it be so bad, for just a split second, to see what others see? And the only answer that I can come up with is this: "His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts."

And you know what? That's a good enough answer for me. (At this moment in time anyways.)

I Can't Believe It!!

I can't believe that I only have 2 1/2 months left!! I'll be sad, but I'm getting anxious to move on: just 'cause I want to know what the Lord has in store for me. BUT...the Lord hasn't even given me tomorrow...so I guess that I need to just live today to glorify God through the opportunities that He gives me.

I know that this was a short blog, but I just thought I'd update it...

Christians Compromise Too Much.

Why is it that Christians compromise too much? Or at all?

Take for instance, the action of swearing. I know of non-Christians that don't swear, and find it offensive when people do. But what about Christians swearing? Why is it that so many do? There's really no need for it: how many millions of words are out there, and yet so many choose dumb words? Anyways...I find it disgusting.

And people have given me the excuse of "well, it's cultural". So what?? DO YOU NOT THINK THAT GOD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND CULTURE--AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE THINKING--EVEN BEFORE YOU SAY IT? Anyways...I'm just so sick of this compromising thing: especially in this area. NOW I'M NOT SAYING that I've never sworn, or that the words never enter my head, or that I never ever ever will for the rest of my life: but when the average (supposed) on-fire-for-God person uses curses in their every day talk: then the Lord CAN NOT be the person that they're living for. Our speech is to be "seasoned with salt", and swearing is anything by "gentle, good, loving, patient..." etc, etc.

Do you all get my drift?

well...thanks for letting me vent. I like this blog thing.

My future.

so, guess what guys? I've been thinking about MY FUTURE--and it's okay!! I was talking with my best friend and my mother last night. And I've gotten really excited about my future! I know that I'll have to be in maine long enough to get my license (I know, I know), but after that--it may be New Hampshire--or Texas!! Exciting, eh? This is what I'm hoping anyways. I've been thinking about working in Bar Harbor for the summer too, but I don't know how that'll work out. I really need to get my license. Anyways...I just thought I'd update you all on me, and if you ever think of me, shout up a prayer, eh? Thank you you all!!

Do You Think? Or do you Pray?

The Lord has been teaching me a lesson: Do I think? Or do I pray? Because You know what He's been showing me? That thinking IS NOT praying!! Sure, the Lord knows our thoughts: but that's not prayer! When He was teaching the disciples to pray, He didn't say, "Think about all your problems for a while"--He told us to say, "Give us our daily bread". In Philippians 4, Paul tells us to "think" on those things that are noble, and true, etc--because what we think will eventually become what we say and do!! So, instead of just THINKING about praying--DO IT!!

Change is Inevitable.

well...hello there everyone. Just me, back again.

Can I just say that, when you know you're in God's will, and you know why you are, don't get all dumb by being distracted by things, such as the future ... that has been the biggest hindrance in my spiritual walk the last 4 months or so. and it's funny how, when God shows you one thing in your life that you need to change, that a lot of other areas in your life change as well. and I was reading my counseling textbook how as Christians: we need to embrace change as that is how we become Christ-like! No one can become Christ-like by staying the same all the time. We need not fear change (unless it's caused by sin) !!!! And although I am "scared" of the month of May (that's when "the rest of my life" begins!), I know that God has not given me tomorrow: so how can I live today, as if it was the last day of my life? Will I be a snob? Will I be selfish? Will I be unforgiving? Will I be lazy? Or will I be the Shauna that the Lord has called me to be today (or tomorrow, seeing how's it like 11 pm....way past my bedtime!)

well, that's just a little thought for you. And here's a suggestion: Whatever it is that you've been doing for devo's the last little while: change it up. Change is good!!

and.....she's off!

that's right! My friend megan is now in PERU!!!!!!!!!!! I'm wicked excited for her!

My break went pretty well....I watched a whole lot of movies the 2nd week, but it's all good....

today I move into my new place here on the island! A whole place to my self for a month? Can you believe it? HA!

well...that's my life the last few weeks. Hope you enjoyed it.:)