You know it's funny... how at one moment we can be mad at the WORLD & all of humanity--and then a friend makes you laugh and suddenly, life is beautiful. Those moments that you lay in bed WIDE awake... dreaming of.... I don't know: what SHOULD be? What life COULD be? And you long for a place where you feel you've been... yet you've never reallly been there. Or you see yourself and how you wish you could be.... braver, stronger, more beautiful, fearless.... and then you fall asleep: dream of being that warrior or princess and then wake up to your SCREAMING alarm clock & remember, "Ohhhh, right, this is life...."
I know, i KNOW what you all are saying, "Shauna--come on... a bit "Eldridge-life", don't you think? And i have to TOTALLY agree with you but at the VERY same time... totally saying, "NO!" WE WEREN'T CREATED FOR THIS WORLD... and today--------- today I caught a glimpse of what we WERE created for. Intimacy. Love. Freedom. Worship.
It's funny how I walked thru the first few hours at church with my emotions of "Crap! i hate being single today!" "Crap! i have to go to work today!" --and yet at the very same time--knowing... no, aware? mmm... nope: SENSING that Jesus was there. So was His Father. And so was the Spirit. Something was going to happen......... there's nothing like feeling so inadequate when you know that the Three Most Beautiful Persons in all (and out) of--well-- EXISTENCE is there watching you....... and more than that-- LONGING for you to just.......... just BE. It's alarming and frightening and relaxing and beautiful, all at the same time.
As I look back on this morning, I remembered that the Scripture that was read aloud wasn't Scripture about us humans--but HIM. I guess i've just begun to realize so often that we put OURSELVES in Scripture. "He loves YOU" (yes! He loves MMMEEE!) "He died for you" (yes! He died for MEEEEE!). don't get me wrong--nothing wrong with that whatsoever: and we all know that we all need to remember that from time to time--but what about remembering that... well, it's all about HIM?! HE's the one (that loves us)... HE'S the one (that died...) He's the one who is literally holding our bodies together at this precise moment as we read this note.... HE's the one spoke creation out of N-O-T-H-I-N-G. HE's the one whom we will cast down our crowns at HIS FEET (that HE GAVE US, by the way)....--
Anyways, so I guess that i've just totally gone on about all this ramblingness from my brain: but one thing I remembered today was that ..... I was made for something more than "this".... I was made to exist with Him--to walk and talk with Him (and others).... I was made for a home that isn't in or of this world.....
"Even so, Come..."
